A Goddess' Love Musings
by Elfkid
Summary: Storm reflects on the men in her life and the lack of romantic relationships with them


A Goddess' Love Musings Complete with an uber-cheesy Bastet-ish ending! Woot woot! Told in first person by Storm. Aka Ororo Munroe of the X-men. Please R&R if you think it's worthy, I won't beat you with a stick if you don't :)   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything marvel owns. I just asked if it could come out and play. They didn't respond. So I kidnapped it. But it will go home safely after the fic.   
  
Captain Liberty's Challenge: Storm has been romantically linked to several men, both in the comics, cartoon versions, movie versions, and fanfics. Forge, Wolverine, Cable, Beast and Gambit most notably. But for all the potential, none of the relationships have held-up. Write a story where Storm reflects on all the men in her life. Why haven't they worked. Use those creative muscles to come up with an answer and if you desire have her choose someone you feel is the ultimate lover for Storm.   
  
The steaming shower felt wonderful against my skin. More often than not, I conjure up a rain cloud to rinse myself clean of the day, but sometimes, just sometimes, few things feel as good as water so hot that the air thickens with steam and leaves your skin rosy. I pull back the curtain and step on my towel, wiping the water from my legs and then traveling up to my stomach and arms. A beauty magazine editor would cringe that I actually do rub the towel across my skin, not dabbing. Then again, who am I trying to impress? The villains of the world?   
  
I dry my face, then hair, and discard the towel in my clothes hamper behind the bathroom door. Sighing, I rub my hand across the mirror, wiping away the steam. An ebony face with blue eyes stares back at me. It is not an ugly face, it would sound conceited to say I am beautiful but I know that I am not ugly. I wonder sometimes though. I study myself in the glass. A woman of 27, no sign of age. Whether it be my active lifestyle, healthy eating, or just the dopey placid look I maintain all the time, I see no lines in my skin. My body is slim and fit, muscles evident but still I remain curvy- my breasts are even with my hips in an hourglass figure. I get more depressed looking in the mirror. What is wrong with me that I don't see?   
  
I turn away before I become disgusted, wrap my robe around me, and exit the steamy room. I tread the hardwood floor in footsteps that rival the silence of a cat's. It has been years since I utilized all my skills as a thief but the muscles in my legs are trained for stealth. I can sneak up on most members of the team even in my high heels, with the exception of alert telepaths, those with enhanced senses, and former thieves. Ok, so that rules out almost half of the mansion residents. The average human doesn't stand a chance.   
  
I walk over to my nightstand and pull a cd out of the drawer. It's a homemade CD I burned a few weeks ago- one made for the mood I am in now: depressed and broody. I have several CD's for certain moods, but only one for this kind. I thought I was so clever in creating it with depressing songs at the beginning, that slowly eased into happy tracks towards the end but I don't think I'll listen to those too much. Walking on Sunshine my ass. I wonder how many members of the team would be surprised to know that I don't own a single Sounds of Nature CD… I shove the cd into the player and turn it on. The song "Here comes the Rain" by the Mavericks starts playing through. So ironic, I know. Shut up. I fish around deeper in the drawer and pull out my journal. It's nothing special on the outside- a spiral bound notebook, purple on the outside. My beloved journal- the secret harbinger of all my dark desires and perks of being the stoic, amazing leader of the rag tag band of mutants called the X-men. Where did all this bitterness come from? Lying on my bed, I remove the pen from within it's spiral casing and unleash my fury upon the virgin paper.   
  
_ Dear Diary,   
  
Another villain fell in love with me at work today…   
  
In all seriousness, I wonder what it is about me that attracts the villains but not the heroes. I'm sure you're tired of hearing me whine about loneliness. I'm still not completely happy with thought of being the leader of the x-men my whole life- doomed to live a life of solitude and structure- always there for everyone but no one there for me. It's not that I want someone to dote on me all the time and treat me like a Goddess, but… I want to be the everything for someone in their heart. If you must know what got me on this tirade, it was not just one single event but a chain of them. Despite unscrupulous men of the likes of Khan, Brainchild, Shinobi Shaw, and other kings from other planets… I'm wondering if I possess another hidden mutant power… invisibility to the opposite sex. At least the opposite sex with good intentions. This brings a question to my mind. Is it me or is it the men? For too long I have sat angsty, angry at every man in this mansion, wondering what it is that makes two men fawn over my best friend and yet I go ignored by ALL!   
  
I have often entertained the thought of trying to seduce any of them. Though I fear I may give them a heart attack at how 'out of character' I would seem, or be asked if I was feeling well. I may have strived to control my emotions to save the weather, but I have evolved much since I first joined on this team and love is not something the earth needs to be spared.   
  
This place is crawling with men and I think all they see me as is one of the guys. Sigh. I guess I'll just unload my rants about everyone to you tonight. Big surprise. Just be glad I don't have a long neck Corona to help me.   
  
Where shall I start? Well, since on the subject of Love, why not the king of imitating it. Remy. Who is Remy to me? He is a handsome devil of a man. He is the only person who can bring a smile to my face in even the worst fits of my rage. He understands the indulgent childish side of myself that I fight so hard to repress and he fights so hard to unveil. The side of me that wishes it was still just him and me on the coast lifting valuables from rich snobs. He is my best friend and sometimes I fantasize about what life would be like with him and me as lovers. In a way, he and I are kindred spirits. But… I know it will never happen. He is in love with Rogue and I feel guilty for it. I sometimes wonder if inviting him to join the X-Men may not have been in his best interest. Goddess help me, he and Rogue are two very good friends but they inflict such pain upon each other. I always want to wrap my arms around him and love him when he is hurting but my sensible side always prevents it, knowing the consequences outweigh the moments pleasure.   
  
Then, there is Logan. If there were ever a man that knew me, it would be him. When I first met him, I was appalled yet… also fascinated by him. His gruffness was grating and his habits. . . unnerving but I found myself attracted to him. Not that I would have admitted it- not in a thousand years. We have shared several kisses- each ringing clearly in my memory. Years ago, had I encountered him in the middle of a foggy forest at night, perhaps on one of my midnight nude flights, and he on one of his meditating martial arts practices, I think I would've tackled him and demanded he make love to me right there. And he most likely would have complied. It's sad to see the playfulness he once had to have left. Troubled times have begun to wear down Logan. No more playful kisses or flirty dialogue with one of my past loves. Despite how tough he seems, he needs to sort through his past loves: Mariko, Viper, Jean… before he would be ready to venture on a fresh path.   
  
The song Haunted, by Poe just came on and my mind rests on Forge. The name is like acid after all these years and it burns my memory. I am constantly bothered by what could have been and as bitter as I am towards our past, I am also thankful it ended. The more I've pondered an 'Us,' the more I realized there had never been an us. I went through all the motions of a relationship but the feelings were not there. Was he really falling for Mystique or did I push him towards her? I guess he has more right to be resentful than I. It is my fault that I distanced us so greatly- he has tried numerous times to remain friends but my heart aches to think about the insult of his retracted proposal.   
  
Davis… I almost chuckle at the thought. That poor boy. Like a puppy on a string he adored me. It was endearing at first but lost it's charm almost immediately. A child lost in conflict. I have decided after that experience that it is not a boy I needed to keep me on my toes but someone of experience. A man.   
  
Less than a year ago, I thought I actually experiencing the start of a romance with someone that qualified. The funny thing is, it was the son of my best friend's husband and ex-wife. Only he was thirteen years older than me. Nathan Christopher Charles Dayspring-Summers Askani'son. Truly a unique man. When first meeting Nathan, one can't help but notice how, BIG he is. At 6'6", he dwarfs even me. There are few men on this earth of his caliber. His life has been tragic- having to miss out on his parents for a huge period of time, losing his, Aliya, and surrogate son, and finally, having to face the responsibility of being the Chosen One- the one person in all of time to destroy Apocalypse, yet he continues to give. I think the main part of my attraction towards Nathan lies not only in the fact that he is handsome, but he shares my line of work. He is not just an X-Man- he is a leader and understands the burden that comes with that responsibility. Through Onslaught, I fought alongside him to defeat a disillusioned Hulk, I even saved his life and he mine. It took every ounce of emotional strength I had to not wrap myself around him when his OT virus was out of control in Dr. Richard's decimated lab. It's funny, but I know it was because Domino was there. That seems to be a big problem with me. Other women. Then again, is this high school? When will I act like an adult when it comes to my heart? I wonder what Nathan is up to right now. I have not seen him for several months since Moira's death but I feel that I may take him up on his offer for a date soon- as soon as neither of us is globe trotting to save this and that..._   
  
I drop the pen and stare at the bedside phone. A little voice nags in the back of my head. It's not my conscience- it's the voice that accuses me of every wrongdoing- no matter how mild. I glance at the phone, hesitating slightly, before I snatch it off the receiver and punch the numbers faster than I can decide to back out. Perhaps I can end this madness now.   
  
It rings twice before a machine picks up. My heart sinks at leaving a message of this type on the phone but then again… Grow up, Ororo!   
  
BEEP! "Uh, hello Nathan, it's Ororo. Remember that dinner date we talked about? Give me a call when you're free. I'm in desperate need of... well, I need someone. To talk to. Any time will do. Bye!"   
  
I hang up and then shake with glee and frustration. Picking up the pen, I continue to write:   
  
_ I have just called Nathan and left a message on his machine. I'm shaking so bad even though it's technically not a date. Will he think I sound desperate? I never should've left that message... What have I gotten myself into? The goddess has left the safe harbor of the temple and exposed herself to a myriad of emotions and possibilities. I wonder, has it been my fault I have been invisible to anyone's thoughts of love? Never since Forge have I placed myself in such a vulnerable spot. I guess I shall see where it takes me.  
  
_


End file.
